WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Who Are You?

Most often, we spend our time and thoughts on ourselves alone. We spend great time thinking about only us as an individual without the thought of another person in our mind. I used to be like that too, until I met a friend who told me that it was wrong for a person to be always thinking and planning for oneself alone. After that day, I went home and spend good quality of time thinking about the real me.

Since I believe so much in writing, I took my pen that day and wrote things I know about myself. And at the end of it I found out that without other people there can never be me. At that very moment, I knelt down and thanked God for the gift of friends and relatives and neighbours and class mates, school mates and even ‘enemies’. I thanked God for the gift of life, for the gift of thought, and fro the gift of writing. Today I have an unpublished book titled: Who Are You?

Until you love and appreciate those people around you, you can never get to know who you are. The simple truth is that: you can’t do it alone, no matter how much you try. You can never achieve anything on your own. Learn to please others and you will be grateful you did; because you will benefit more when you recognise other people in your life. These people might not be rice enough to give you financial assistance, these people might not be influential enough to ‘link’ you with the ‘high and mighty’ in the society; but they are contributing seriously to your daily growth and development.

Because of the realization of who I was-that I needed a job, I prayed for the woman who sold envelope to me that was meant to send my application letters. I realized that for my application to be sent I needed an envelope, I needed those at the post office and those at the cyber cafe for submission of the same application via the internet. I recognised these and more people-the bike man that took me, the bus driver, the woman that sold gala and sachet water to me-all of those who contributed to the success of my ability to submit my job applications. These people made me know who I was.  

Oftentimes we thought we know ourselves, but we still find ourselves doubting what we just did or what we are doing or what we are planning on doing. In our inmost heart we would wish to do one thing, especially good things, but outwardly we would be doing quite the opposite. At those times we ask: Who am I?

Once I was expecting an amount of money. I was so desperate to get that money and I made God a promise; stating that if He helps me get the money I would buy something for the Church-my parish. In my heart I really wish to keep that promise, and God knows. So I had a still voice inside me that said: I will support you with money on your project. That ‘voice’ gave me all the more reason and courage to expect the money, by faith and to keep the promise I made.

I thought I knew who I was, I thought I knew myself that I would keep to that which I had planned to do for my parish because of God. No! I was not going to do that because of God. I promised to do it because I wanted God to help me get the money which I needed for the project at hand then. I thought getting that money would solve all that needed to be solved in that year’s project. I thought I would fear God and believe in His willingness to support me financially in the project I was praying for. I thought I knew me.

It took longer than expected for my request to be granted. By the time the money came, I had so much at hand to do with the money that I could not buy what I said I would. It was so bad that when I was making ‘lists’ of what to do with the money, I wrote down the item needed in the Church and crossed it, saying to myself: later I will get it. So I went ahead bought all that I needed and still had lots of other things to buy. Because I had received the favour I prayed for and more so too, because I needed more money to get more things, I got to God’s presence again and prayed. Because I owed God, I asked for mercy and said I had not forgotten what I said I would do.

Miraculously, God did not fail to keep His own side of the ‘deal’ we stroke. I got financial favour-a cheque worth more than the amount I would have spent to buy what was needed in the Church; that means, even if I had gotten what I said I would for the Church, God has already given me back my money and more to buy other things that I needed. That day I cried and cried and promised not to ever go back on my promise, especially with God.

You should never think you know who you are and then relax at making effort every now and then to check yourself. It should be a constant practice to check what you are doing, what you fail to do and what you are expecting to do. It is not an exercise that you do once in a day, week, month or year; it should be done as often as you take a deep breath at the completion of any act-little or small. Like writing this now, I check myself every time I reached the end of a sentence or paragraph or comma. I would pause a little to see where my writing is coming from and how it will end.

Who are you? Don’t give a rush answer; take your time to find out the answer. And I must warn you, it will take you the whole of your life on earth to know who you are. It will make you spend time away from your usual schedule and focus more on understanding who you are. This is an exercise that you might think it’s easy and simple to reach the conclusion; but it will not be as you thought. Knowing yourself is more deep that the deep-blue-sea. Knowing yourself is more difficult compare to knowing the philosophies that is ruling the heart of men on earth. Knowing yourself is more than just knowing your name.